just another side, another opinion, another part of my brain

Sometimes I think that God must be kidding me,,

When the one I love was decided to leave,,
though I don’t know why I love him,,
since he never been there for me.
Not when I feel sad,,
When I’m sick,,
When I have lots of problem,,
or even when I’m asking him,,
without any dignity left.
Still I love him.

When the one I want was suddenly dissapear,,
though I’m not loving him that much,,
I want to be with him,,
when I started to put some hope on him,,
he suddenly take a step back,,
and dissapear,,
but then somehow I still want him,,

And finnally,,
The one that come from my past coming back so sudden,,
bringing back some good memories,,
when I don’t want to repeat that whole memories once again,,
Though he did a couples sweet thing when we’re still in a relationship,,
He’s there when I heard my dad got sick, he’s there when I have lots of problem,,
He even came when I got sick back then,,
came away from yogya to my hometown with only one time I asked,,

Then I wondering,,
Why things got messed up like this??
Why can’t they come on the right moment??
when I want them on the exact moment,,

Don’t know wether God want to make me learn some lesson,,
or just kidding me,,
but there must be some perfect plan that God have been made for me,,
And since I can’t see the future,,
the only thing I can do for now is go where’s the road brings me,,

And hopefully brings me to the right person at the right moment,,
Eventually,,